The Unrehearsed Magic Show That Had Me Begging For Clemency

By Miles Sunkest

Last week I was shuffling down the street, trying my best to beat a hangover that was holding on for dear life. It was two in the afternoon, yet the cobwebs in my mind were refusing their grip on my sanity. Which is just as well, because what happened next surely destroyed plenty of my neural connections. I passed by this bookstore, and noticed this guy inside beckoning me to come in. Naturally, I complied.

This guy was doing some of the most incredible magic I've ever seen. When I walked in he was doing these wicked card tricks. He'd ask somebody to pick a card, and then have them show their friends, like normal. Only he'd have them put the card back in the deck, but then the card would show up in their sock or their wallet or something.

Then this guy started doing these crazy mentalist tricks. He started reading everybody's minds at once and mixing their thoughts together. He would make up some weird poetry on the spot, and it would incorporate all these people's deepest, darkest secrets. To say it was strange would be beyond the wildest limits of my capabilities of expression.

After that he did more normal tricks, like making things vanish and not come back, he made a few people float up in the air, and he made this puppy dance around and sing the theme from "The Love Boat." Actually when I think about it, the whole affair was quite out of the ordinary. I'm not sure if I know what really happened.

I decided to leave, and as I was walking out the front door, I heard a booming, mystical yet authoritative voice screaming from behind me. Like a cold desperate voice from the pits of eternal loneliness.

You must learn magic tricks! You must delve into the secret world of psychic tricks to uncover the mysteries of the unknown! They are depending on you! I wasn't sure who "they" were, but that was enough to spook me for good. I ran out of there, and never came back. - 31879

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